Monday, 16 July 2018

Days when I feel like giving up

Can I just give up?

Really, what's the point of helping people who don't even want to help themselves?

But then again, they might feel this way because of some incident that happened to them. And who else is going to help them if you don't?

Time and again, I tell myself to chin up, and try to pull through the day.

I am tired. I really am.

I dislike Mondays. Because I have 5 back-to-back classes. Science-English-Science.

I usually leave my first Science class earlier to prep for my upcoming English class. And sometimes because I feel like I have nothing else to teach them about.

My English class just goes by quickly (and because it is a single period as well).

And the last two periods are always when students get really restless.

I don't blame them, really. After all, they have to sit down an entire day.

But it gets really frustrating, when you spend so much hours preparing for a lesson, hoping the best for them, but students are tired, or they are bored of listening to someone lecturing.

I hope for attention from the students when I teach. But they can't give their full 100% attention to all the teacher in the school, they will get tired.

I feel sorry, for students who can't learn, because their class is noisy and I can't control the class.

I feel sorry, for students I get angry at, because I am way too irritated and grumpy to think straight especially after back-to-back of teaching.

Focus on the positive things that happen. But it is tough. I am tired.

--

Yesterday was my school's parents-teachers meeting, and I replaced one of my English class' homeroom teacher as she was on leave. My students reaction was O_O when I told them she's on MC. Not too sure whether it is a positive or negative respond. Chinese students were happy because of the easier language of communication I guess.

I love that class, I really do. It was nice meeting their parents.
--

I was packing up my stuff, getting ready to go home and one of my student approached me and asked for my help to remove vocal from a track, for a singing competition happening on Wednesday. Ended up staying an hour, trying to work on it (but unfortunately, the product wasn't up to standard).

He is one of the student that often helps me control the class when it goes haywire, and today, he was sleeping when I entered his class, which probably aggravated my anger and discontentment.

Thinking deeper, he is probably tired because he is in charge of most of the school events. Maybe that's why he was tired.

--

Can I buy more time and patience?

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