Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Here's some positivity

Sometimes I feel like I focus too much on the negativity of my life and I forget about the positive things that happened around me.

Today I feel like I am really taken care of by my students.
 My day started off with a pasta delivery by a student, which came in really handy because I am perpetually hungry.
A student (from the same class I cried in before lol) came and 'escort' me to class today. And I could see he really is trying to control the class for me.

After school, a student came to talk to me and asked "Do you have a meeting today? Have you eaten teacher? Don''t forget to take 5 minutes break!"

These gestures really warms my heart and keep me going.

Knowing some students actually cares gives me the strength to be stronger and do my best.

 Yesterday, I declared that it was dessert day and my collab, Sophie, was supportive lol.
Many things to be grateful of, eh.

Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Today is one of those days...

These are some compilation of short, what do you call this, passage/entry/journal perhaps? I wrote over the past month.

Date: Unknown, somewhere in August I think
Today is one of those day, where I question myself:

Am I doing enough for the students?

Was I too stern in that class?

Was I too lenient in that class?

Was that the right thing to do?

Was shouting really necessary then?

I should have done that.

and the list goes on and on and on.

I feel guilty to take rest or breaks, because I feel like the time is better invested in lesson planning, reading about pedagogy skills, and how to further improve my lessons. Especially being a new teacher, where I'm still pretty much on trial and error stage.

Sometimes, I feel that if I did not took over the classes I am teaching right now, they might be better off without me. Because I am an inexperience teacher, who sometimes act impulsively and do things ad-hoc.

I wish if I can give the best to my students. I wish if I know what to do, and how to react to every situation.

But realistically speaking, I am human. You are human (Wait, are you....? Might need you to do this reCAPTCHA test). It is completely normal to stumble and fall when you first start off something new.
Image result for i am not a robot check


Date: 28 August 2018

Today is one of those day, where I am fed-up of waking my students up during my lesson. Usually when I wake some students up, they would be really disruptive, so I proceeded my lesson without waking them out, despite knowing that it is wrong.

And today is one of those day, where my (new) principal had to walk past my class. He woke the students up one by one, and took a before and after photo.

Sure enough, the moment my principal left the class, the students drop back into sleep again.

Date: 29 August 2018

Today is one of those day, where my student (from the same class as my entry on 28 August) asked me to die.
But we had a ROS Social that night and it was fun.
Date: 31 August 2018

 Also, I had the best dinner combination on that day :D. Fried chicken + Beer

Date: 1 September 2018

Today is the day, where my Robotic kids were training for consistently since March have been waiting for: Young Innovator Challenge 2018.

These boys have been consistently staying back every Sunday to practice Arduino programming. They were guided under a 2016 Fellow, Mr Tan Jiunn Wen, before this. Sophie & I took over but we're really useless in Robotics.

I am really impressed and inspired with their commitment, despite not having any teacher with deep subject knowledge guiding them.

Two teams managed to snag Bronze. The boys were disappointed, perhaps because they really wanted to defend their champion title (they won Gold last year, under the guidance of Mr Tan Jiunn Wen!).

I really am really proud of them. i don't know how to express this feeling, but for them to be able to show such commitment, it is amazing. Seeing them at work always keeps me motivated. And, their attitudes and behaviors are really worth praising.

During the judging session, one of the judges were pregnant and they took a chair and invited the judges to sit down.

During lunch time, the boys took our share of food, and invited us to eat together.
This is the behind-the-scene effort that is rarely seen by most people. Same goes to them and their preparation for their project!

These small little gestures really made my heart melt.
Today is also one of those day where we get to eat Cheotnun Bingsu!
And also one of those day where I feel free and liberated because the next day is a public holiday!

Date: 2 September 2018
Today is one of those rare days where I go to a shopping mall to watch a movie! Nevertheless, I really enjoyed it!
Date: 3 September 2018
Today is one of those day, where I feel like crying after collecting my student's exam script.
An example of exam script.


Date: 5 September 2018

Today is one of those days, where my tears welled up, my anger fumed, I jumped in joy, I felt confused as heck, guilty like this dog memeImage result for guilty dog memeBecause I didn't plan my lesson at all, because I really didn't have the time at all. I stayed back at school up till 7pm for Accenture Student Leadership Camp (ASLC) meeting, got home at 10.30pm, marked some books, and hit the sack at 12.30am, woke up at 5am the next day to decide what I want to do for my lessons.

Today is also one of those days, where things just didn't go as planned. I asked a student to frame a faint as my induction for a literature class lesson about a play, where a man fainted in the class.

What happened instead: The student betul-betul fainted in class. And I thought it was part of the act. Some of the students were mocking the students. Some of the students took advantage of the situation and so on.

Then I cried in one of my class, because I realize how little my students learnt from me, maybe because of the fact that I am not a strict enough teacher to get them to listen and pay attention in class, or maybe because I am simply inexperience to teach. But it was clear that the whole class was disengaged.

The class monitor had to stand up and scold the class because of this. And the class did apologize, and a few students did tried to cheer me up so it was okay.
But also, it was another of those day, where I stayed back till 10pm to work together with my student for ASLC, and my student bought me McD.
Date: 6 September 2018 

Today is one of those day where I worked non-stop till 1am.

Because ASLC is on the next day, and these kids are really committed in doing their best.

Had a celebratory dinner with the Robotic boys! Used the club's money, and they insisted to top up the remaining funds which was really sweet of them.
Date: 7 September 2018

Date: 8-9 September 2018

Today is one of those day, where I reclaimed it as mine, and I did not worry about school, or my lesson at all.

YES I WENT HIKING AND CAMPING. Super tired afterwards, but worth it.

Date 10 September 2018
Today is one of those days, where I woke up at 4am to mark my exams paper (because I really don't have the time to mark and I choose to go on a camping trip during the weekends).

Today was one of those day, where I felt like crying again, because a student sort of merajuk-ed and said I scolded him when I think I did not. Perhaps because I was tired and my tone was snappy, but I was too tired to find out why, and also I felt like I might be a little too emotionally unstable to respond better.
Today is also one of those fried chicken + black balls day to comfort myself.

Date:11 September 2018 

Today is one of those days, where I catch up on my sleep debt, and slept for 11 hours.

And I managed to went out with my students to celebrate their success and growth for ASLC. Long story short, we spent a long time in Toys R' Us.

Two students escorted me to my parking space before I left, which really melted my heart too!

Edit: Left this out but this really made me smile. Received snacks from a student. #destresspack

Today is also one of those days, where I marked my exam papers, and I feel like crying and quit teaching because....I don't know maybe I didn't do a good job teaching them, hence the horrible exam results.

Today is one of those days, where I crave for dessert because I want to feel better.


I wish if I had documented more feelings. But so much happens in a day, and I simply don't have the time to document it. Maybe I should try v-logging hmmm
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