Friday, 31 August 2018

The ups, the downs

During A-Levels: "If you can do A-Levels, you can do anything!" 
During my degree: "If you can study Actuarial Science, you can do anything!" 
During my fellowship: "If you can survive the fellowship, you can survive anything!"

I struggled during A-Levels. Because we only had 1.5 year for a supposedly 2 years course. But nevertheless, I survived A-Levels with decent enough grades.

When I embarked on my Actuarial Science degree, yes, it was tough at times. Especially at the very beginning, as I did not have any background in further mathematics, so Algebra and Calculus sounded rather foreign to me. But nevertheless, I managed to pull through it and graduate with a decent enough grade again.

And now, the fellowship. 

There are days where I feel like what on earth is going on, and why did I choose this path again? There are days of self-doubts. There are days where I feel extremely down and disappointed. There are days where I feel like I have no energy to deal with everything. And of course, there are good days as well. Just that somehow, negative feelings and experiences tend to be stickier.

Let's see how much my A-Levels experience and Actuarial Science degree can help me...

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I was told to document everything - whatever I feel, be it anger, happiness, sadness, frustration and so on. But things seem to be moving so quickly I don't have time to document em all.

Hey in fact, I experience anger, happiness, sadness, frustration all in a day usually. My mood is like a pendulum, swinging back and fourth.

Or am I becoming a crazy mood-swing aunty that can't control her emotion oh gawd.

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So much happened recently but I don't have the time to document really and right now I am about to fall asleep while typing this (it is exactly 12.26am now) so I'll just leave this blogpost hanging and edit it later. Yay to long weekends and no DPLI weekend this week! 


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