Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Insecurities

"How's my teaching in your class? Am I teaching too fast or too slow? Can you understand what I am teaching?"

"Teacher are you not confident about what you are teaching?"

HELL YA I LEARNT SCIENCE IN ENGLISH THESE MALAY TERMS ARE GIBBERISH TO ME.

"No....teacher really need feedback because if you don't tell me how I am doing, how can I improve and give the best to you all?"

So....one month into teaching, I'd say I am...somewhat floating.

The insecurities after each class keep building up - did my students understand what I taught? Was I speaking way too fast? My classroom control was way off in that class - will the students hate me for not controlling the class well? Did the students actually learn something in my class? Yadda yadda.

I am getting more apprehensive as the mid-terms loom closer. The teachers that were teaching my classes prior to me taking over are all quite capable - what if I can't meet their standard and cause the students' result to slip?

The school assigned me to classes where there are more Chinese students because of my ability to speak Chinese. I do translate some terms into mandarin in class (and sometimes, a whole sentence), especially in my Science classes. This is becoming a concern to me as I am worried that it might be seen as favoritism to other races. At the same time, I feel that translating the terms might assist some of the students to remember and understand what they are studying. So this remains as a conflict that I am not sure how to resolve.

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